So tired of people wasting my time!

I’ll pretend to see what you see

Foster the People put on an amazing live show!

I drank too much last night though, WAH

PROS 

• basically nice
• takes good care of his feet
• makes good chili
• remembers my birthday
• rarely wants to do it
• is funny when he goofs on his friends
• doesn’t care about money
• loyal
• too lazy to cheat
• would increase likelihood of a blue-eyed kid
• loves The Simpsons
• has good hair
• has already seen me throw up two times
• fixed tv
• Jack likes him

CONS

• not super smart
• listens to Winger
• dental hygiene
• wears acid wash denim
• always wants foot rubs
• not much money
• catholic
• doesn’t like his mother
• I don’t like his mother
• his mother doesn’t like me
• loves Family Guy
• reads The Post
• insists on spending holidays with his mother
• has already seen me throw up
• attempted threeway
• racist
• wears Italian horn even though Irish 
• Jack likes him

I feel so alone on a Friday night, can you make it feel like home, if I tell you you’re mine. 

The thrill of rollercoasters can take an entire bad week away. 

love it will not betray you, dismay or enslave you it will set you free.

may your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground, carry on.